Howdy,
Well, here I am, a married man. My marriage was a big mistake. I should never have got married. It was a big mistake.
I don't love my wife and never have done! I care about her to an extent (the extent being - how much can you care about someone who lives 5000 miles away.) I don't hate her.
My wife is from Thailand and I'm from the UK. At the start of the relationship, I had some small motivation to bring her to the UK, not strong motivation, we went through the motions. The marriage was partly to make her getting the VISA easier.
After we married in February 2020, in a registry office in Thailand, COVID hit, and my life changed a lot. And now I would hate her to come to the UK. I don't want her to live with me, it would depress me so much. I like living alone. I like living by myself. I like being a batchelor. I repeat, I don't want her!
When I saw her in October 2022 (2.5+ years after I'd last seen her), she'd ballooned in weight by 50%. After over 10 years of knowing her as a short slim girl, now she's a short fat girl. I don't find fat girls attractive, never have done, never will do. And when you've lived with a fat mum and a slim dad all your life, and vowed never to become anything like your dad, the whole situation is so depressing.
Yes, your wife getting fat isn't a reason for saying it's over. There are other reasons it has got to me this time.
I was going to visit in November 2023. She tells me she doesn't want to go out. She just wants to stay in the room. I cannot think of anything worse. On holiday with a fat girl I don't find attractive, she's in my bed, she's in my room all the time (I like hotel rooms, it's a place to relax, but that's not possible when there's another presence in there with you.) I don't want to go on holiday just to stay in a hotel room.
Honestly, I don't like her company. She is very very boring. I feel like I've moved on and she's not grown at all. She's like some kind of life sucking leech, sucking the joy for life out of me.
Let's look at a typical holiday day with the wife and see if she brings any value:
- I go running - 0 value from wife - She just stays in bed!
- We go to breakfast - 0 value from wife - I love my breakfast and having her there kinda spoils it for me (I have to pay twice, and sometimes she's miserable, doesn't want to walk to the breakfast place, gets bored of going to my favourite breakfast spot...)
- We go for a walk - 0 value from wife - I like walking, she hates walking. And she walks so slowly that it's actually painful for me (I get backache.)
- We drink in the hotel - 0 value from wife - She does make the drinks. It's a take it or leave it thing for me. I certainly don't need to be drinking all day. Doing something productive would be better. Honestly, drinking whisky and coke all day in a hotel room is not me.
- We stay in the hotel - 0 value from wife - She watches TV or does something. I do my own thing, but I'm not relaxed, I wish she was not there!
- We go shopping - 0 value from wife - I don't like shopping. Sometimes when I'm with her, there's simply nothing else to do, so we go shopping. 7-eleven, shopping malls. Very boring. Especially boring dragging her around with me.
- We go out for dinner - 0 value from wife - We have to walk, so that's the first problem. Then dinner costs over double when I'm with the wife. We don't talk much. It's sort of pleasant but empty experience. Going for a meal isn't a bit thing for me.
- We go out on the town - 0 value from wife - This is a total waste of time. She's miserable. I'm miserable. I see all the single guys happy and enjoying their life. The married guys are dead inside. I'm not yet dead inside "Never Say Die!"
- Watching movies - 0 value from wife - We might go to the cinema. It's okay but I can take it or leave it. We might watch some movies on TV. Normally stuff I'd never watch in normal circumstances, but by then I'm so drunk with whisky that I've stopped caring.
- The Bed - 0 value from wife - I like to sleep naked, but not with the wife. I'm not relaxed sleeping with her. I would rather be sleeping alone. Or - even better - sleeping with a sexy Thai agogo / bar / freelance / escort girl.
- My feeling - 0 value from wife - This is probably the biggest one. When I'm with her, my feeling is not good. Like I'm not me. Like I can't be me when I'm around her. This is the biggest red flag in any relationship - if you don't feel like you can be yourself, it's not you!
