Yes, I am depressed. And there is no point fighting it, just have to welcome back my old friend depression, and know he won't hang around forever.
2022 has really sucked so far!
1st Suck!
I purchased four things in October, four beautiful custom made things, these things were produced in China in November and should have arrived with me before Christmas, but we're now into February and all the news is bad. The beautiful things have either been seized by customs, or accidentally put on a boat (I paid for air freight, not boat freight - boat freight might take half a year.)
Honestly, I feel like I just want to have done with it. I feel tearful at thoughts of the loss. 4 beautiful things I saw but now maybe will never see. And I'm frustrated that this sadness is impacting my productivity. Perhaps the only solution to my current malaise is to get refunds for all 4 of these things, and write it off as a very bad experience not to be repeated.
Possessions do not bring happiness! You the possessors are possessed! What was I thinking trying to acquire these possessions!?
2nd Suck!
Family is sucking! My mum is in hospital, and needs looking after now. I hate that people grow old and expect to be looked after until they die - what a waste of effort, time, resources and space! I don't ever want to be looked after. I don't ever want to be a burden to anyone. I will plan to have all my affairs in order before I am 65, then do the proverbial "go beyond the pale" or "leave society and go into the forest and die!"
3rd Suck!
I feel like I have made a total fool of myself (nothing new there) on a very silly forum / within a very silly community. I thought I was liked and valued, but it was fake. It wasn't the friendly caring place I thought it was. I will never return to this place, the disappointment is something I want to forget.
4th Suck!
Work is sucking! So much to do, and I'm just not getting it done. But I know I am very lucky to have the job I have.
Are the other sucks getting in the way!?
Is there more to life!?
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Anyway, just felt like getting some things off my chest.
Take care out there. You're never alone in depression! Maybe in depression you're least lonely!?
Life goes on because it doesn't have to! Take each day as it comes. All that exists is the eternal now!
