My life is over.
I've made many terrible mistakes. Mistakes that weren't actually terrible (I've never harmed anyone in my life), but terrible mistakes for someone in this stupid world we live in, that mean my life is now over.
I'm just waiting for the grim reaper to come.
Yes, nothing really matters, and our lives definitely don't matter. We are just on the wave of on and off. One minute we were off, then we were on and got to experience some life, then we will be off again.
Am I a bad person?
This is a question I have struggled with for a long time. Yes, I like what I like, perhaps some of the things I like are bad, but they are not harmful to anyone but myself. And I'm selfish. And I'm a fool. And I'm arrogant. And I don't believe in following other peoples' stupid rules and laws. But am I really bad? I don't think so. I am harmless.
Do I hate myself?
Yes, I do. I don't fit in this society. It is way too serious for me. Treating things that I think are non-issues as serious. Everyone is so serious. They don't see that everyone is flawed. No one is squeaky clean in this life. People are always being shamed because of what they like. The joy in this world is so much stamped on. It is not a world for me. It never has been. And because I feel so odd amongst this society, yes, of course I hate myself, because I don't fit, I never have done, I never will do, and I don't want to.
If my life isn't over by mid-August, I will look back on this post.
Time to die!? Time to go out in a blaze of glory!? Time to burn everything to the ground!? Yes!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Goodbye world. It was fun whilst it lasted. I had way more years of life than I deserved. I never deserved to have 40 years on this planet. So many more deserving people died so much younger than me. And I know what people get out of life has nothing to do with what they deserve, but still, I've had so much more life than I deserved. If I die now, I will die having had a very fortunate existence.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Well. Fuck it!
Break free from all life's bollocks and do what must be done!
Image: Don't feel sorry because my life is over. Be happy that it happened.
