After the cancellation of the hotel part of my up-coming holiday to see the wife for the first time in a year (flights are uncancellable - no refund), and some thought, this is why I had to cancel:
I honestly don't know what I would do with her for 10 days.
- She doesn't want to walk/go anywhere.
- She has little enthusiasm for anything other than watching Asian soap operas.
- She's not sexy (she's fat now), so doesn't even have sex going for her.
- I struggle to think of anything where her presence is a benefit for me (not breakfast, not much any other time.)
- There is very little conversation between us. We have nothing in common.
- I don't want to spend all day in a hotel room with her, plied with whisky to dull my senses. It makes me go insane.
- I greatly feel like I'm happier and less stressed, alone.
- I don't want her company.
- I don't want her slowing me down and zapping my enthusiasm.
- I don't want her in my space.
- I don't want her!
- And I don't need her!
Which leaves me in a pickle because I really wanted a change of scenery and some time off work, but do I go to Thailand and not let her know, or do I holiday in the UK!? Less than a week to go, so not much time to plan anything!
I've thought about London. London is expensive. Maybe somewhere else in the UK!?
Finally, because I seem to be being pushed that way, I decided to use my flight, and book something in Thailand. Dangerous!? Maybe. The closer you are to death, the more alive you feel. I've never quite worked out what the point of life is (the best was simple "survival", like even the most basic life form does everything it can to survive), so an experience that brings me closer to death, might bring me closer to working out what it is all about.
It'll be a change of scenery. Not held back by a wife who doesn't want to do anything (a yoke!?)
I will take a laptop. I will walk and get some sun. I will explore. I will study (so it will be a productive break.)
