Q: Who Are You? / What Are You?

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I've realized that one of the most addictive and great things about computer games, is that whilst you are playing that computer game, immersed in the fantasy, you have such a clear answer to "who are you" / "what are you".

When I am playing Civilization:

I am a great ruler of a mighty Civilization.

And, even greater, is that you feel good about that. It feels great being a great ruler.

Sometimes, I think I need to play computer games (Civilization 3 usually) every so often to simply feel like me again.


Real Life

In real life, answering the titular question is so much harder. We essentially hide our real selves to fit in. We often cannot be who we want to be. Maybe we had a clear idea when we were young, but years of indocrination by school, parents, work, etcetera ... can destroy that sense of "I am this!".

And now, at the age of 50, I struggle to answer the titular question, but I will try.


Who am I? / What am I?

Note: Some are things I wish to be. As Picard says "make it so!".

  • I am a loner (personal)
    • I have no desire for human companionship.
    • I love being alone.
    • When I am with people, it is tiring and stressful, I often cannot be myself around people, and my body and soul feel the need to escape.
    • Being alone is freedom!
    • Being alone is bliss!
  • I am a professional (work)
    • I may not like my work, but
    • I approach my work with a professional attitude
      • I will do a professional job and get the job done!
  • I am a warrior (personal/work)* - I:
    • Fight depression
    • Fight distraction (ADHD)
    • Fight doubts (believe in yourself)
    • Fight impatience
    • Fight fears
    • Fight negativity
    • Fight procrastination
    • Fight tiredness
  • I am an okay person (personal)
    • I don't want to hurt anybody - but sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind.
  • You are not a victim!
  • You are not a label!
*People are not fighters in this day and age. They are always looking for a label to pin on themselves so they can play the victim card. Instead of fighting, they say "it's just me" as an excuse. Fight guys adn girls, fight!

What are my likes?
  • I like getting away from it all (personal)
    • My perfect holidays:
      • Glamping in a private location by myslef
      • Self-guided walking/trekking/travel holidays
      • + Anything else where I can be alone and away from it all
  • I like walking with a purpose.
  • I like computer games (escapism).
    • Civilization
  • I like watching movies.
    • Apocalypse Now, Serenity (Firefly), Bladerunner, Rambo ...
  • I like music.
    • Groove is in The Heart, Jamiroquai, Deep Progressive House ...
  • I like TV
    • Fallout, Breaking Bad, Grand Tour ...

Groovy baby!